Rebecca Davis  Ranson, West Virginia

Think about the fathers in your life. Yes, fathers. I hope that you are well blessed to discover many men in your life who you can call father. The dictionary defines a father as a male in relation to his child, an elder male who provides care and protection, and the first person of the Trinity.

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As I account for the men in my life who I give the title Father, take a close look at those in yours. Some you may or may not have ever met nor had a relationship with him in person. Even if your father was never around, it’s a good time to forgive him and let it go. Reconcile if you can or want to do so. Take peace in knowing that by forgiving, you are honoring the man who gave you life. Finding ways to honor your father and father figures is important. Luke 6:37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:”

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There are many ways to show your fathers honor. Follow his directions. “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:” Proverbs 1:8 Especially when you are young, obedience is of great importance. When you are older and feel you’re wiser, you will probably still come back for your fathers’ advice and wisdom that only a father can give. You can speak highly of him publicly. If you have issue with your father, the world doesn’t have to know. Men are often times beat up by the world. Family should be their safe place. Your irritation with him won’t last always, but words cannot be taken back. Listen to his stories. We learn life skills from our fathers’ lives. Also, we hear about him in a way no one else can tell us. Care for him. When he needs something, be there as much as you can. It’s hard when our fathers get older and don’t seem as strong. They need us. Get his groceries, mow his lawn, hold his hand, and dry his tears. The care they gave to us as children is the care that we give back. Again, forgive them for things of the past. Look beyond the transgressions. Care for the fathers who may not deserve it. “Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.”

 

Proverbs 23:22

 

I never got to meet my biological father. I was adopted as a baby, just two months old. My biological mother was young and decided that the best way to care for me was allowing a family to raise and love me as their own. As I hear stories about my father, I wish I could have met him to hear the stories from him. I wish I could see his smile. I wish I could have known more than a name. Unfortunately, he passed away before I found my biological families. Treasure the life of a biological parent who you are blessed to have around. Cherish his smile, hold his hand, and listen to his stories. God restores relationships. Forgive him. At 45, I met my Aunts who were thrilled to meet Stanley’s baby girl. I urge you to not waste time. Honor your father of birth by forgiving him today. It will also set you free.

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Being adopted as a baby, I was able to have a daddy-daughter bond almost from birth. I was Daddy’s little girl. He gave the care and protection by definition and the love only a Daddy can give. I looked up to him as my role model. I wanted to be just like him. He is smart, educated, wise, and loves life. Adoption and foster care can be a great blessing when children and parents connect and form a bond as strong as biological bonds. It can also have its challenges. These father/child relationships can be reconciled as well. Forgive them for anything you may feel you lacked growing up. Forgive yourself if you were the reason the relationship was strained. Honor him for the great things, provisions, teaching and care that he attempted to provide for you. Sometimes we learn who we don’t want to be from the examples we had or didn’t have. As teenagers we sometimes feel as if we don’t need anyone. As adults, we find that notion to be a fallacy. If you desire, reconcile so that as an adult you can still have the wise elder male role model, advice, protection, and spiritual covering, to walk you down the path of life or even the aisle.

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Fathers come in many other forms. IF they fit the description of care and provision this can include uncles, stepfathers, community fathers, God fathers, grandfathers, or coaches. Your father figures may be different than mine. Over the years, some of my friends’ fathers were father figures. I am blessed to have a stepfather who never had children of his own, but we became his. He is pretty amazing, helpful, wise, and caring for us and his grandchildren. When we say stepdads are dads who step up and take a starring role, he does. My ex-husband raised my eldest daughter from the time she was one. When we split up, I made sure that she knew that he was her Daddy who was always there. She should respect him and honor him. If I was at odds with him, she was to keep neutral ground and continue their Daddy-daughter relationship as they saw fit. She was to never hold my grudges against him. They have a great relationship to this day. Fathers who choose to be fathers even if they aren’t biologically are amazing men. 

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Spiritual Fathers are those who lead you in ministry. This father role is very important. They may not be in your everyday life, but they have everyday influence in the greatest aspect of your life, your spirituality. I am blessed in the area of spiritual fathers who teach me, admonish me, lead me in spiritual growth and ministry. My Pastor, my spiritual father, has become a dad to me. He not only leads me in ministry, but helps me in life as well. The wisdom of these spiritual fathers is irreplaceable. I may not like what they have to say. They have my best interest at heart for the care and protection of my soul. You have to have someone who can show you when you are wrong, correct you, and lead you in the right direction.

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When you honor your mother, you are honoring your father. Your father’s wife is his blessing. Mistreating her would be just as if you are disrespecting him. Deuteronomy 27:16 warns “Cursed is anyone who dishonors their father or mother.” Even in blended families, even when you may not like her, you still have to show her the same respect you do him simply because she is your fathers love. After all, it says honor your parents, it doesn’t specify biological, step, adoptive. It just says parents.

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There are two accounts from the Bible in Genesis that stand out. Abraham took Isaac to offer a sacrifice. Isaac followed after his father in faith. He tied Isaac and held a knife over him. The on-time God sent an angel to intervene and provided a sacrifice. Two of Noah’s sons had such great respect for their father; they covered him so that no one would see his nakedness. When his youngest son saw his nakedness and laughed, Noah cursed his son’s son because of it. Proverbs 20:20 warns that “Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness.”

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Rest assuredly; if you did not find any other father in your life, the Heavenly Father is always there. He is “a father to the fatherless,…, is God in his holy habitation.” When you need an ear to listen, He is there. When you need advice, He gives it to us in His Word, the Bible. God gives us His Holy Spirit to guide us. When we seek Him, He sends guidance in his voice if we listen, in songs, in meditation, and in prayer. When we knock at His door through prayer, He is sure enough to hear us. You are NEVER alone. We can honor God by putting Him first in our lives, praising Him, worshiping Him, praying, loving Him, and sharing Him with others. We also honor our Father God by, “obeying our parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.” Colossians 3:20

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As you can see, fathers come in many forms. It can be in title only or in works. Hopefully, you have found fathers in places that you didn’t expect it. I Timothy 5:1 “Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father;…” Honor your fathers.

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Prayer: Lord, My Father, Thank you for always being in my life. Thank you for the fathers that you have placed over me to care and protect me. Help me to be honorable to my fathers. If I have not yet uncovered the other fathers in my life, shed light on them so that I can see who they are. Allow me to forgive my father(s) who had not been there how I needed. I give you honor and praise for who you are. Continue to look after me, send your spirit to guide me. In Jesus name, Amen.

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Memory Verse:              Ephesians 6:1  Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.